The Inner Workings of a Pervert
by Sakura-L
Summary: When Tsunade forces Kakashi into therapy as revenge, he didn't expect it to be this much fun. Well, he didn't expect his councilor to be a certain pink haired kunoichi either... Kakashi/Sakura pairing, rated M
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello everyone, I'm Sakura-L and this is my first Naruto fanfiction. It was the stories on this very website which lead me to be a very firm supporter of the Kakashi/Sakura pairing in the first place, so I'm hoping to give back a little of the enjoyment that I felt reading all of your fic's, by writing this one for all of you.

This fanfiction is rated M, there will be mature topics discussed in the therapy sessions, as well as mature happenings that will be going on outside the therapy room later on in the story. So continue with caution!

And lastly, constructive criticism is welcome, after all I want to make a good job of this. So without further ado, sit back, grab some ice cream and begin to read : )

Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, I don't own a damn thing. The Naruto universe belongs to Kishimoto.

88888888

Kakashi was the first to admit that he had annoyed quite a large percentage of the population of Konohagakure. Back in the days of Team 7, for example, he was fairly certain that he had irritated Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura on a daily basis. Perhaps even on an hourly basis if you combined his sarcastic, degrading comments with his frequent tardiness.

Kakashi, however, had always thought that these factors had made him endearing, and no matter how often he was late, or how little he showed how much he really cared about his comrades, no one had ever actually hated him for his quirks. But still, no matter how many times he thought about the situation at hand, he always came to the same conclusion, and by now Kakashi was fairly certain that this conclusion was, indeed, the right one.

Tsunade hated him with a passion.

As he made his way to Konoha hospital, jumping through the roofs of the many buildings, Kakashi decided that this was the only logical explanation. Perhaps he had turned up to her office late one to many times, or maybe it was the time he had abducted her expensive vintage sake and held it to ransom until she had taken his name off of the teaching list. Or it could have been the time… Kakashi ran a gloved hand through his hair and sighed. Okay, so going through it in his head Kakashi supposed he had given the woman adequate reasons to dislike him, yet he always pulled through when it counted, and more importantly he always returned her sake. So, why had he been signed up for compulsory therapy?

Therapy. Kakashi almost slipped from the rooftop he had just jumped on to at the mere thought of it. Luckily years of training saved him from what would otherwise have been a very embarrassing landing into the market below.

_Training_, he thought, _now there's something I can do_.

Kakashi was designed to kill in thousands of different ways, hell he could even cope with teaching children to do this, however irritating they may be, but sitting around discussing feelings? Now that was something that was definitely not on his favourite things to do list.

He gathered chakra into his feet, preparing for the leap onto the adjacent building, before suddenly springing into the air and landing with a small _thud _on exactly the point he had been aiming for.

Kakashi knew that he wasn't the most mentally stable occupant of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, he challenged anyone to find a shinobi that was, yet he was by no means in need of professional help. Compared to the Uchiha who had run off swearing to kill his one remaining relative, for example, he looked almost normal. Unfortunately, the fact that that very Uchiha had been his student worked against him.

The hospital appeared in front of him, and using his chakra to reduce the impact of his fall, Kakashi landed cleanly in front of the doors that led into the main foyer. As he walked forward he thought of what a truly horrible situation he was in. Normally he wouldn't even have considered turning up to Konoha's hospital just because he had been told to, he'd certainly never gone in conscious. Yet the threat of permanently replacing Iruka and looking after the sniveling brats of the Village Hidden in the Leaves hung above him like a rain cloud he just couldn't shake off.

He slouched over to the main desk, trying to look even more hunched that usual so that on the off chance that anyone he knew saw him willingly coming into the hospital, they would know that he wasn't at all pleased about doing so.

"Yo," he drawled to the receptionist, placing his arms on the desk so he could comfortably prop up his head.

"I have an appointment…" He trailed off, before handing her the slip of paper Tsunade had issued him with the week before.

"This appointment was for ten this morning." The receptionist frowned, pointing to the clock behind her that read eleven fifteen.

"Yeah, about that, you see upon arriving to the hospital punctually this morning I suddenly remembered I had no underwear on. Not wanting to risk any unfortunate accidents occurring I quickly rushed home to solve the problem, only to discover that-"

"Cut the crap Kakashi."

Despite what Kakashi had been led to believe, at that moment he was in no doubt that the devil was in fact female, not male, and existed in the form of Tsunade. In fact, the more Kakashi thought about it, the more likely it seemed. It was common knowledge after all that she changed her appearance, maybe it wasn't for the reason everybody thought…

"I hope my rapidly deteriorating memory hasn't caused any inconvenience to you, Lord Hokage." He risked a mock bow, however it seemed the joke was on him when he stood up and she promptly replied,

"Not at all Kakashi, I had your appointment booked for an hour and a half after the time I gave you, now hurry up, we don't want to keep your medic waiting."

Kakashi frowned. Were his lateness patterns finally becoming predictable? He'd have to fix that when he got out of this hell hole.

He followed her through a maze of passages that all looked exactly the same, and for once Kakashi was grateful that he was always carried into the hospital unconscious. It seemed that he had at least been saved the boredom of memorizing the hospitals layout. Tsunade finally stopped at a door, knocked once, and opened it, smiling at him and gesturing that he should go inside. Was that a hint of triumph he detected in her eyes?

Kakashi reluctantly walked in, arms firmly crossed across he chest, full of pity for whatever poor sap was unlucky enough to have to spend his day listening to the deranged mutterings of the psychologically damaged.

"What? No couch for me to lie on whilst I spill my very soul out to you?" Kakashi deadpanned.

He'd been hoping for a nap. It looked like all chances of that happening were now truly out of the window.

"Unfortunately, no, however if it's the distinct lack of lying down possibilities you're worried about, please feel free to use whatever piece of floor you think is comfiest. That way you'll be not only wasting my time with your stupid quips, but floor space as well. Just think, your irritation abilities would be doubled in efficiency."

Kakashi looked up, and into the bright green eyes of the young kunoichi who had just snapped at him. He beamed behind his mask. Oh the many, many ways that he could find to torment her in these sessions. One thing was for sure, Kakashi was no longer sorry that he wouldn't be able to nap during his appointment. He definitely wouldn't want to miss any of the embarrassment he was going to fling onto her in this session.

88888888

Tsunade hated her.

That was the only possible reason she could have for putting her in charge of Kakashi's therapy duties. Sure, she had claimed that it was to make Sakura a more diverse medic who could specialize in whatever area she wanted to, yet Sakura was fairly certain that this was an endurance test. Tsunade had placed her with one of ANBU's elite perverts, and after dealing with Kakashi for seven years, Sakura was fairly sure that ANBU in fact stood for Annoying Ninja who Bullshit Unstoppably.

Yet there was no use in complaining now. Not when her patient was in the room, currently lying on what he had said was…

"Definitely the most comfortable piece of floor."

Oh, how she hated his arrogance. He was perfectly at ease with whatever situation faced him, he just went along with it, with that infuriating indifference that irritated her to the very core of her existence. Just for once, she wanted to see him on edge, or surprised, or in a situation where he wasn't in control.

Sakura wasn't stupid. She knew very well that there was nothing wrong with Kakashi and that he was definitely not in need of therapy. She was also pretty much certain that this was one of Tsunade's ways of getting back at Kakashi for one of the many irritations he had provided her with in the past. Sakura was aware of this, and that was why she felt no guilt in plotting to put a patient, the very person she was obliged to help, in a position in which he would feel uncomfortable.

_Think, Sakura, think_

She absentmindedly twirled the pencil she was holding.

_Something that he isn't expecting you to say, something that will leave him stuttering, something-_

"So, I'm not really an expert on this sort of thing, but usually therapy involves some sort of communication between the nut and the medic." Kakashi said, raising an eyebrow, whilst turning on his side so he was facing her with his head propped up with his arm.

Although no doubt the casual movement and raised eyebrow were designed to remind her what a waste of time this session actually was, it was the same movement that provided her with inspiration. A flash of orange was revealed in the pouch that hung from his belt, which was only just visible due to his new position. That orange could only belong to one book, and carefully concealing the excitement from her voice, she calmly responded,

"Well, seeing as you seem to jump right into the deep end, I won't beat around the bush. Kakashi-sensei," she said, pausing for a small amount of time to add some suspense to the situation, "I think you might be a sex addict."

A short silence followed in which Sakura gripped her pencil tightly, happily thinking that she may have, in fact, made Kakashi speechless. However, that bubble was soon burst as Kakashi replied, seemingly equally as happily,

"Oh? And, what would give you that idea?"

Sakura snapped the pencil she was holding.

_Great, _she thought, _just great._

She hadn't thought he would actually treat this as a serious topic, she thought he'd merely gape at her until she changed to a more serious one, or walk out claiming that this was wasting time that could otherwise be spent mastering his Mangekyo.

Sakura groaned inwardly. It appeared she was going to spend the next fifty minutes talking to her ex-sensei about his sex life. She just knew it was going to be a long day.

"What gave me that idea? Well, you did read porn in front of twelve year old kids." She said evenly, on the off chance that he'd been hoping she'd not continue the topic, and when she did he would react how she had originally thought he would.

Yet it appeared, it was not to be. All she got out of him was that eye crease which she knew meant he was smirking underneath his mask, and a reply of,

"Maybe we should talk about that first then?"

Kakashi beamed, changing his position so he was lying on his back, his hands behind his head. "Well Doc, it perhaps dates back to the first time I had sexual intercourse…"

Sakura mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. She'd said it herself, the guy read porn in public, it was unlikely he was going to be fazed by talking about sex to someone fourteen years younger, who was obviously inexperienced.

She propped her head up with her hands, hoping they would hide the red colour of her cheeks before risking a glance at the clock on her desk. Forty nine minutes to go.

"I mean, it's really not my fault that I missed, there's a lot of pressure on when you do it for the first time," Kakashi continued happily, looking at the ceiling.

It was definitely going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura growled, scaring the interns who were unlucky enough to be in a five meter radius of her, as she stormed down the corridor. She highlighted every step she took with a loud stomp of her foot, hoping that in this way she would be able to create an intimidating figure, which would immediately warn everyone that coming near wasn't wise; that is, unless they had a specific wish which involved seeing what their head would look like if it was detached from their body.

Unfortunately, in true keeping with the general crappiness of the day, as Sakura stomped around the corner, hoping that she was personifying anger, she came face to face with the one person who seemed immune to such tactics.

Ino smirked at Sakura's angry look, probably enjoying the fact that she wasn't the cause of it. It had to be said that taking her anger out on somebody other than her infuriating roommate would be a nice change.

"Hey, Forehead, what's up with you? You haven't looked this mad since, well, this morning when I woke you up to the sweet sound of music." Ino smiled, a clear look of false innocence implanted on her face.

The 'music' Ino was referring to would be the whistle which she had blown right in Sakura's ear, at five that morning. Sakura had thought that the black eye she had given Ino had been perfectly justified, and was disappointed to learn that Ino's healing skills had apparently developed enough to allow the kunoichi to remove the evidence of a well placed right hook.

However compared to what Sakura had been through in, what she no longer regarded as therapy sessions, but rather a specific circle of hell, the whistle incident of that morning seemed like a minor annoyance. Something that was barely worth a reaction.

Sakura had been put on shifts at the hospital that had left her more worn out than a weeks worth of training sessions, hell she'd even been given the job of sponge bathing the elderly, which was every bit as cringe worthy as everyone imagined it to be, but never before had anything tested her patience like this.

Kakashi knew exactly how to push her buttons. More than that, he seemed to have made in his own personal mission to embarrass and anger her in as many ways as possible.

And he was damn good at it.

"Out of the way, Pig," Sakura snarled, trying to sidestep around Ino.

"Now, now Forehead, don't be like that. You know you can tell your most trusted roommate anything." Ino grinned, stepping to the side so she was in front of Sakura again.

"I'm warning you, Pig, I really had been hoping to get to Tsunade's office without bloodshed, but if you don't move out of my way, I swear to God-"

"Okay, Forehead, have it your own way." Ino replied, holding her hands up in a mocking 'I surrender' gesture, before moving out of her way again. "Luckily for you I'm hear to visit someone, and don't really have time for your temper. Just make sure you fill me in on how Tsunade kicks your ass. After all, that is what inevitably will happen when you take your temper out on someone whose anger and strength outclass yours, by a margin that isn't exactly small."

Sakura would have punched her there and then, although unfortunately it seemed that Ino had suddenly seen sense, and had evacuated the immediate area.

"I'll get the ice pack ready." Ino smirked, giving a happy wave before rounding the corner quickly.

Sakura gritted her teeth, hating the fact that Ino was right. Nothing would be achieved by storming into Tsunade's office apart from a year on midnight shifts. Tsunade's short temper mixed with her seemingly unscrupulous mind set Sakura wouldn't even put it past her to prolong her sessions with Kakashi. Sakura instead chose to take all her pent up anger and frustration out on the unsuspecting coffee machine in the staff common room.

She veered off to the right, the thought of a nice sit down and coffee lifting her mood slightly. That was what she needed; company with something that didn't make her feel as if she was turning as red as it was humanly possible to turn. However, it appeared that once again fate was against anything that would allow her blood pressure to drop to normal levels, and she felt a tap on her shoulder.

Sakura snarled, hoping that whoever had dared to interrupt her mental ramblings either had a nice, steaming cup of coffee, or Kakashi's head on a pitchfork.

"S-Sakura? Tsunade asked me to remind you that she needs your notes on today's session with K-Kakashi written up and handed in before lunch," Stuttered a nervous intern, who seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

Apparently thinking about coffee had lifted her bad mood enough to render her "stay five meters away from me or I'll kill you" circle useless.

"And why would she possibly need those notes in today?" Sakura snapped, taking a step towards the unfortunate intern whose job it had been to deliver such news to her.

The intern gave a soft squeal and jumped back.

"T-Tsunade said you would ask this, a-and she told me to tell you that…" The intern gulped, taking another careful step back.

"Go on," Sakura said, quietly.

"She-, she, said to tell you that it's none of your damned business why she needs that report in before you go to lunch, and that she strongly suggests you waste less time arguing and more time completing the task that was given to you."

Sakura grabbed the pencil that she has been storing behind her ear and gripped it until it was nothing more than a pile of splinters, before continuing on her way to the coffee room. She heard the intern exhale, in a way that suggested she counted herself lucky to still be conscious, and then glanced down at her watch. Great, twelve forty-five. That gave her forty-five minutes to whip up a report that would satisfy her teacher.

She entered the coffee room and slammed the door. If she was going to relive the mornings trauma she wanted to get it done as quickly as possible, which meant no interruptions.

Sakura grabbed at the nearest mug and placed it under the tap that would give her, her much needed coffee. When it had filled she grabbed it, a pen and some paper and sat down at the nearest table. Taking the lid off of her pen, she began to relive the experience she had very much been hoping to forget.

88888888

_This_, was what she had needed.

Sakura gave a contented sigh and allowed herself to sink even deeper into the piece of heaven that was her sofa.

It was easy to feel detached from hospital life in the comfort of her own home. Before becoming a medic Sakura had often struggled to comprehend how they managed to juggle what seemed like a constantly juxtaposing existence. They balanced using the same skills to harm as they did to heal almost daily. Although many argued that both worked towards the greater good, Sakura couldn't help but think that if they really wanted to work towards the greater good, they would share some of their healing knowledge with Suna, or Iwa. Not only could they be helping an even greater number of people, but they may even get knowledge in return, it would be mutually beneficial to all involved. It could even be a last attempt at strengthening a failing friendship.

It seemed that the alliance was unravelling. Inevitably, said some. Sakura wasn't too worried, after all, every once in a while you would hear war speculations sweep the village, most of the time with very little evidence to back them up.

It seemed that this time, however, the rumours were, at the very least, logically thought out. The higher frequency of highly skilled shinobi heading out of the village hadn't passed unnoticed by the civilians, nor had the fact that they left in groups of three or more, without any normal civilian. That, the people said, had eliminated any chance that they were simply guarding some sort of high ranking villager. Of course, Sakura had reasoned, it was always possible that they were meeting the client elsewhere.

But that didn't explain why six jounin level shinobi were being sent out per week. Although guard missions were a fairly frequent line of work for shinobi, it was very rare to get more than one Class A mission per month, not one per week. What job was requiring six of Konoha's finest man strength per week?

Sakura shook her head, causing her pink bangs to fall into her eyes. She should use her night off to relax, not reflect on rumours that would probably be forgotten by this time next week. After all, if Konoha was going to be thrown into war it was very unlikely that one of the top shinobi in the village would be sacrificed in order to attend unneeded counselling sessions.

She reached for one of Ino's trashy magazines that had been left on the coffee table. She decided, as she swept her bangs out of her face, that she would lose herself in the trivialities of whatever poor sap had been caught in some embarrassing situation in this week's issue of Gossip.

"I thought you said you didn't like my trashy magazines, Forehead." Ino walked in and plopped herself down onto the sofa next to Sakura, hot chocolate in hand.

"I don't," Sakura replied, thanking her as she handed one of the mugs over. "But you need to be reminded that there's always someone in a worse position than you are. See, like this person for example"

Sakura pointed.

"Yeah, I see what you mean," Ino said, over Sakura's shoulder. "That colour hair was not a good move on her part. Makes her look sort of washed out, don't you think?"

"I was talking about the fact that her house and all her possessions were ruined in some freak flood."

"Equally as tragic." Ino frowned. "Anyway, what's so bad about your life that you have to read about floods to put it into perspective?"

Sakura grimanced. "Tsunade decided that counselling would add to my medical experience."

Ino frowned at Sakura's obvious lack of enthusiasm. "Surely a medical geek like you would be happy to add to their knowledge whenever possible."

Sakura looked Ino in the eye. She slowly sipped her hot chocolate, never once breaking eye contact, before mumbling, "The sessions are with Kakashi."

"_You_ are having counselling sessions with _Kakashi_?"

Ino let out a roar of laughter. "Wow, that really does suck. I mean, you have to be trapped in a confined space with _the_ Hatake Kakashi for an hour a week? There has _got_ to be a better way to spend that hour than talking."

Sakura felt her cheeks reddening at Ino's suggestive wink.

"Shut the hell up Pig. He's my former teacher. I'm not going to… seduce him when I'm meant to be healing him."

"Hey, it's only natural to connect perverted activities with Kakashi. Didn't he always tell you to look beneath the beneath? See, even that always sounded like an innuendo to me, only I could never quite work out ho- Hey, don't storm off in a mood Forehead!"

"M'not, just got something I need to do." Sakura called back over her shoulder, already in her room and shutting the door on what sounded like a muffled reply of _'It's someone's time of the month then'_

Beneath the beneath…

There _had_ to be some reason that Tsunade had assigned Kakashi to her, some sort of logic. There had to be something. Why would Tsunade force one of Konoha's elite shinobi into therapy sessions with an apprentice when there were surely thousands of other things that Kakashi could be doing to help the village? Was it simple revenge? Some sort of test? Did Kakashi really need help?

Sakura dismissed the last idea with a frown; sure the guy needed help but nothing that required counselling.

She immediatly dove under her bed, rummaging around until she had found what she was looking for.

Sakura liked to document all her medical reports for future reference, often taking the time to look back and jot down any ideas that could help solve the problem quicker or more efficiently if the same difficulty was experienced in the future. Tonight, however, Sakura wasn't playing the part of enthusiastic medical student. Tonight, if Sakura had to classify her position, she would say she was playing the part of detective.

It was easy to find the report she was looking for, it was her latest and so was on the top.

If she was going to get to the bottom of what Tsunade really meant by assigning Kakashi to her she had to start somewhere. At the very least perhaps Kakashi may have let slip something which would clue her in as to whether he knew the reason behind Tsunade's decision, or was merely a victim.

Sakura climbed onto her bed, and began to carefully reread her report; hoping that it would offer at least one clue.

88888888

"_I mean, it's really not my fault that I missed, there's a lot of pressure on when you do it for the first time," Kakashi said happily, staring up at the ceiling._

_Sakura knew that she should be listening; she knew it was her duty to listen, but she just couldn't bring herself to sacrifice her poor innocent ears for the sake of, of… well, for the sake of a pervert. _

"… _and then some voice is screaming at you, and you don't know whether it's your subconscious telling you to try again, or the girl screaming 'are you a freakin' retard?'"_

"_Great, so now you hear voices as well?" Sakura deadpanned. "Isn't that the first sign of madness?"_

_Kakashi sat up and kneeled into a crouch, so his eye was level with hers. He then cocked his head to the side and gave an exaggerated sigh._

"_They give me a councilor who can't even remember that the first sign of madness is talking to yourself."_

"_Perhaps you should ask for someone less incompetent then." Sakura smiled._

"_And risk this beautiful bonding experience? That would be bordering on insanity" _

"_And God knows we need no more of that," Sakura responded, exasperated._

"_Sakura-chan, was that a joke at my expense? Surely the fact that I am here has alerted you to my less than stable mental state, and yet you use this information to take advantage of your poor sensei?"_

"_Ex-sensei," Sakura corrected, her eyes narrowing dangerously._

"_And on top of all that you disown me?" Kakashi fell back so he was once again lying on her carpet_

_Sakura had prided herself on being the level headed member of team seven, the one who wasn't driven by any emotion she happened to be feeling that day, the one who wasn't motivated by revenge. But at that exact moment all she wanted to do was ram her fist through Kakashi's eye._

"_Well, I think we've made sufficient progress…" Kakashi stood up and began to trudge towards the door._

_That was the last straw in Sakura's opinion. It was bad enough she was being subjected to this joke of a session, but there was no way she was taking the blame for Kakashi's premature departure. It was at this point where her shinobi reflexes took over and she immediately found herself reaching to her left._

_The stapler made a dull 'thunk' against the back of Kakashi's head, before falling to the floor._

_Sakura personally found it odd that a man who could dodge fists and kunai easily was rendered practically defenseless against items of stationary. She had suspected as much the first time they had met and Naruto had dropped a board rubber on the poor man's head. She guessed that she should just be thankful that the Akatsuki weren't armed with pritt sticks and fountain pens. Though when she thought about it, kunai knives were basically hyped up fountain pen nibs._

"_We still have half an hour left of this 'beautiful bonding experience.'" Sakura smiled. "Sit back down Kakashi-sensei."_

_Once again Kakashi held her gaze for a while before resigning to her wishes._

_With a sigh and a murmur which sounded like 'ex-sensei,' he took his place on the floor again._

"_So, what's your diagnosis?" he asked, his back against the wall and his eye closed, as if making a show of saying to Sakura the only reason he had stayed was for lack of anywhere else to be._

"_That you're an emotionally retarded bastard who prefers porn to real human company."_

_After a moments thought she added, "Combined with a stationary phobia."_

_Kakashi lazily opened one eye, before asking, "There's actually a medical condition with those exact symptoms?"_

_"Yup," Sakura replied, nodding her head._

_"What's it called?"_

_Damn…_

_"… Stationary-itis."_

_Kakashi cocked his head, "Never heard of it."_

_"Well of course you haven't." Sakura snapped, "Otherwise you would have presumably searched for medical help."_

_His response was simply to close his one eye again._

_"I thought I taught you that people were predictable. Surely you haven't forgotten my lessons so soon. I have a history of refusing to seek medical attention when I have a fist through my kidney, why the hell would I seek medical attention for a condition that doesn't even exist."_

_"I knew you wouldn't take these sessions seriously," Sakura hissed. "Here I am with a genuine desire to help cure your illness, and you just sit there making smart arse remarks; which might I add _is_ a side effect to your condition. And then there's your flawed argument that contradicts itself, if you don't seek medical attention for a fist through your kidney, why would you seek medical attention for a 'condition that doesn't even exist?'"_

_"Because it was either seek medical attention for a condition that doesn't exist, or seek medical attention for the hole Tsunade's fist would undoubtably create when she learnt that I neglected her wishes."_

_Sakura growled._

"_Obviously," he added with a smile._

_Sakura closed her eyes and counted to ten, which didn't help at all. Seeing as this was Kakashi she was dealing with she supposed a more suitable idea would be to just keep counting until the end of the session._

_She couldn't help but think that these therapy sessions would lead to her spending the majority of her time in this very wing of the hospital. The time not spend with Kakashi would be spent with a shrink she would undoubtedly need to hire, purely to stop this particular pitfall in her career from leading to a premature suicide. Alternately she would end up in jail for murdering a fellow colleague. _

_Sakura decided she would keep her eyes closed until Kakashi decided to say something. It was the best way of ensuring her paycheck wasn't used to clean blood off of the carpet. After all she still had her half of the rent to pay, medical textbooks to pick up, a new kunai... Oh and that now much needed shrink to pay for. _

_It wasn't fair. _

_Naruto was off training with Jiraiya probably learning some amazing new techniques that he would be showcasing whenever it was that he decided to show up again, and she was stuck in a room with Kakashi talking about fake mental conditions. _

_Sakura mentally sighed, she had reached three hundred before her financial worries had troubled her. It looked like it would have to be her that broke the silence._

_"So, I'm thinking we should deal with the phobia first, it seems the more pressing of the two. Don't get me wrong, your sexual addictions are, um, worrying but we can't have you running every time an enemy comes at you carrying a pen-"_

_Sakura had been slowly opening her eyes whilst talking, and the first thing that caught her attention once they were fully open was a piece of paper on he desk, where her stapler had been. It simply read,_

_'Finders, keepers' followed by a smiley face._

_Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. He had ditched her with twenty minutes still left_

_She scrunched up the note and threw it into her bin_

_"Bastard," she hissed._

_88888888_

Author's Note: Okay, so first off I'm really, really sorry about my ridiculously slow writing speed. I know, I know, there are turtles that run marathons faster than I have updated… I hope that those of you who did read last time have overlooked this incredibly irritating quality, however, and have enjoyed the second chapter. Hell, I had a whale of a time writing it XD

Secondly, a MASSIVE, MASSIVE thank you to anyone who reviewed, commented or favorited this story. If you also write on you will know how moving, and just down right awesome, it is to receive recognition for your piece of work. As always reviews are appreciated, but not compulsory.

Thirdly, I got a review from Kagomaru last chapter about chapter length. Just to say I listened to your concrit and this chapter is 1,500 words longer XD Not a huge amount longer I appreciate, but baby steps right?

Lastly, as always I am looking to improve my writing. If anyone would like to, or can recommend somebody to beta my story, I would love to hear from you. Just drop me a PM or something.

Anyway, thanks again to all you readers out there.

Smell ya later,

Sakura-L


	3. Chapter 3

It had often occurred to Kakashi that Sakura was psychologically damaged, and accordingly he'd mentally claimed credit for at least seventy percent of that damage.

Which was why Kakashi could appreciate the irony of being put under the care of Sakura, who was now seemingly using the opportunity to claim her seventy percent of his brain, and crush it until it was only a poor representation of a once endless cabinet of wit and excuses.

What he couldn't understand was how she was hoping to achieve that via a staring competition.

For half an hour they had simply sat on opposite sides of her desk staring at each other. She had been the first to blink, of which Kakashi had been enormously proud of, hoping that signaled that victory was in fact his and the hilarity which was talking to Sakura about his sex life would ensue. But she had just continued to stare. The scores now stood at 34-42, in Sakura's favour.

Kakashi was beginning to think this wasn't a competition, yet he still felt that breaking the silence would result in losing. It was a tricky situation and he was no longer sure how to get out of it.

He cocked his head to one side, and frowned at her. He received no reaction. It was one of those times in life where he regretted that most of his face was covered. No one quite appreciated how hard it was to pull off funny faces when your only resource was one eye. But he tried.

"Are you having spasms?" Sakura questioned.

"Perhaps it's a withdrawal symptom." He replied.

She scowled. "Why the hell are you here, Kakashi?"

"Because I need help?"

She swept her hand over the desk, causing various pieces of stationary and paper to crash to the floor.

"A stapler would have made a much more satisfying 'thunk.'" He said, seriously.

"Cut the crap Hatake." She yelled. "There is nothing wrong with you. Yet I have to waste valuable time each week, dealing with your smart ass comments and your thieving ways, because you claim you can't keep it in your pants."

"Actually, it was _you_ who claimed I couldn't keep it in my pants."

He watched, as with great difficulty she sat back down and slammed her fist into the desk, creating a sizable crack.

He had learned to hate the room they had had their 'sessions' in for the past month. He found it suffocating, and all too reminiscent of the brief time he'd spent as a prisoner of war aged only thirteen. Nothing matured you quite like spending your fourteenth birthday listening to the screams of somebody you didn't know, who you would probably never know judging by the pleas for death, and then realizing you were next.

"So, where do we go from here?" She asked.

Kakashi thought for a moment. Tsunade must have had a reason behind her actions, and until he could figure that out, he had to play the game. And if that meant slipping into the role of Hatake-sex-addict-stationary-fearing- Kakashi, for an amount of time, then so be it.

"You need to get inside my head, right?"

Sakura frowned, as if unsure whether this was another set up for a plot which would end in her humiliation, before nodding quickly.

"Well then, let's go."

For the second time in three sessions he sprung to his feet and exited the room he'd come to view as the place where happiness and hope perished, via the window.

"Where are we going?" She asked, landing beside him gracefully, and looking as if she wasn't quite sure that a field trip was the best way to ensure Tsunade would continue to let them live their lives with the normal number of limbs.

"We're going to the Academy." Kakashi replied.

Sakura snorted. "Why would _you _want to go to the Academy, you hate children and you hate work. That makes the Academy your personal version of hell."

He beamed, and ruffled her hair.

"You have a lot to learn." He stated. "What time is it?"

Sakura glanced at her watch, "Ten past eleven, why?"

Kakashi frowned. That meant that he was only ten minutes late for his appointment, and he didn't want to seem too eager. On the other hand, now that he'd told Sakura he was heading for the Academy, it was unlikely she'd believe his story if he suddenly changed his destination. He decided to opt for a slow walk, hoping that it would buy them at least ten minutes.

He started walking, and after a brief period of silence, heard Sakura's steps behind him. He grinned down at her once she'd caught up. To his surprise she looked uncertain rather than annoyed, as if being with him made her nervous. Even more shocking was that approximately two minutes had passed without her feeling the need to snap at him for one of his idiosyncrasies that everyone but himself found irritating.

Several more minutes passed in silence before the awkward atmosphere was broken by Sakura.

"Kyo? That was quick."

"No, Kakashi, remember?" He questioned, frowning.

"Not you," she snapped, as if the mere suggestion that she would talk to him when she wasn't required to was insulting.

She crouched down, allowing Kakashi to see that Kyo was in fact, an orange cat. This time he frowned not in confusion, but in disapproval.

"Sorry kid, I got nothing." Kyo said apologetically.

"That's okay," Sakura said, her shoulders slumping, "Reckon you can keep looking?"

Kyo, who had been licking his paw absentmindedly nodded. "I'll let you know as soon as anything comes up."

Sakura scratched the top of his head, "Thanks Kyo."

Kakashi watched as the cat disappeared in a blur of orange.

"What was all that about?" He asked, bemused.

"Nothing," Sakura said, not meeting his eye.

"Clearly," he deadpanned, before returning to the silence they had previously shared.

It was at that moment Kakashi realised just how much he didn't know about Sakura.

He'd always known she was talented, but immaculate chakra control often took second place to impressive offensive attacks such as the rasengan. To think her improved enough to be able to summon represented to him a change that was unexpected. It wasn't that he doubted her ability, rather the opposite, it was just that he still thought of her as the uncertain twelve year old girl obsessed with clothes, make up and Sasuke. The past few weeks had forced him to reevaluate this opinion, and replace it. She was now a capable kunoichi.

"Kakashi?"

He snapped out of his thoughts and instead turned his attention towards her.

"The main entrance to the Academy is that way." She pointed left, stopping in front of the fork.

"We're not going to be main entrance." He replied, continuing straight. "We're paying a visit to the training grounds."

She looked at him questioningly. "But it's Wednesday."

"So?" He challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"_So,_" she frowned, placing emphasis on the word, "That means that the students will be out training, we can't use the grounds for another hour at least."

"We're not going to use the training grounds; we're just meeting someone there."

She looked for a moment like she was about to object, but curiosity seemed to win against whatever it was that it was battling against, and she continued to follow him.

They reached a dense part of the woods, which marked the north of the training grounds, and Kakashi put his arm out to halt Sakura. Apparently her kunoichi senses seemed to have been dulled by her confusion as to why exactly they were here, for she proceeded to walk into his arm, before being propelled backwards as she found it didn't yield.

"What the he-" She began to yell before Kakashi silenced her with a hand over her mouth.

"Indoor voices," He whispered. "We don't want to draw the attention of Iruka"

He saw Sakura glance through the trees to where Iruka was sitting on a tree stump, taking two young ninja through what appeared to be the hand signs needed to create clones.

"He isn't who you're here to meet?" She hissed, straining to make her anger known yet still comply with his instructions to whisper.

He shook his head, and proceeded to scratch the palm of his hand, enabling him to summon Pakkun.

"Distraction time?" Pakkun grunted, cocking his head to one side.

"You know what to do." Kakashi nodded, tucking an exploding tag underneath the dog's collar.

"Tell me what's going on right now." Sakura hissed.

Kakashi tore his gaze away from the small form of Pakkun running through the trees to see Sakura scowling at him, arms folded. He merely beamed in response before holding up three fingers and counting down to zero. A huge crash filled the arena, and Kakashi watched with satisfaction as Iruka leapt off of his tree stump and charged southwards into the woods.

At this point one of the students he had been teaching the clone technique, ran towards where they were standing.

"You're early today," Konohamaru smiled, leaning against a tree in a leisurely manner. "And you bought a friend?"

"Did you put the scroll in the usual place?" Kakashi asked, ignoring the boys jibes.

"Yeah, it's there." He nodded, before handing a scroll over to Kakashi. "But Iruka-sensei's getting suspicious; you might want to be more careful."

"Noted, now get lost."

"Charming as ever." Sakura snorted, as Konohamaru rejoined his friend.

"Am I ever anything but?" He beamed, extending his arm out to her. "You might want to hold on to that, it'll help."

She looked like she was going to protest, but surprisingly she took hold of his arm without question.

"Don't let go." He instructed before unrolling the scroll.

Used to the sensation of being transported via scroll, Kakashi managed to stay upright as they reached the destination. Sakura was less lucky, the shock of her feet being pulled away from solid ground, only to be slammed back onto it again seconds later resulted in her falling flat on her ass, in a manner that was anything but ladylike.

"We're in the boys shower rooms." She stated, from her position on the floor.

Kakashi nodded in agreement, before scratching the palm of his hand for the second time that day. This time, however, all eight of Kakashi's ninken appeared. Kakashi smiled as Sakura shot up and promptly placed her arm over her nose. The combined smell of eight dogs who hadn't been washed in a fortnight was overpowering to those who weren't properly protected.

He reached into the pocket of his flak jacket, and pulled out a spare mask, handing in to her with a chuckle.

"Thank you." She gasped, after tying the mask in place.

"I'd save you thanks," he advised.

Sakura glanced up at him questioningly, as he clenched his fist and slammed it into the wall next to him, hitting the button that he knew would trigger the release of cold water from the wall of showers.

Her shriek as the water hit her made the hour a week he had taken out of his schedule for therapy worth it.

"Bastard." She screamed.

88888888

Sakura would be the first to admit that any equation involving cold water, eight smelly dogs and Kakashi was bound to end in scarring her mentally. But she couldn't help it. She enjoyed his company, and she enjoyed re-bonding with him, albeit via washing what seemed to be three years worth of mud of off his dogs.

"You break into the Academy, just to wash your dogs?" She laughed, whilst scrubbing Bull's belly.

"Do you see how much mud is on these mutts? There's no way my tiny shower at home would be able to take such abuse." He replied, pulling a bottle of soap out of his flack jacket.

"You treat it as if it's a mini mission," she giggled. "With partners in crime and everything."

He smiled back at her. "It's no easy feat I'll have you know."

She grinned as he threw her the soap. She was absolutely soaked through, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Forgetting work and engaging in rebellious behaviour, like breaking into her old Academy, was relaxing somehow. And the realization Kakashi had bought to her that she could always retain a bit of that childish behaviour despite her age was comforting.

Although now that she thought about it, Kakashi wasn't old, old. Maybe thirty, thirty-four? She looked up about to inquire after his age, but found her words stuck in her mouth. For whatever reason, Kakashi had removed his flak jacket, exposing a very wet, very tightly fitting black undershirt, which clung to every muscle. And wow, was there a lot of muscle. She watched as his muscles rippled, as he scrubbed the now soapy Pakkun, momentarily unashamed that she was viewing her ex-teacher in a way that way making her blush.

"You done?"

"Huh?" She jerked her eyes away from Kakashi, and realised she had completely frozen, mid scrub.

"I said, you done?" Bull repeated, rolling over onto his stomach and shaking his fur.

Sakura spluttered as specks of water and mud flew at her from all directions, luckily the spray from the showers rubbed the majority of it off.

"Um, almost." Sakura replied, biting her lip. "Kakashi, chuck the soap over."

He glanced over before tossing the soap, forcing her once again to look his way to avoid being knocked out by the bottle. She hoped that her jaw hadn't dropped open.

"Thanks," She muttered, annoyed at herself.

Sure, Kakashi was attractive, Ino had once had a crush on him, as had Tenten. But that was all. He was allowed one good feature, to try and balance the scale a bit against his complete disregard for punctuality, and generally annoying sound that seemed to follow him every time he opened his mouth. The fact that she appreciated the finer form of his body, was very much like appreciating art, and it was not morally wrong to appreciate art. Which was why she didn't feel guilty for letting her eyes frequently roam over to where he was sitting.

"Kakashi-sensei?" She mused. "How long have you been a jonin now?"

"Nice try," He beamed.

Sakura blushed guiltily, "I wasn't trying anything."

"I'm thirty this September." He replied.

"Really? I always thought of you as older."

He frowned, "Why's that."

"I dunno, the grey hair I guess, even you've got to admit that it's taking premature aging to the next level."

"I can't help the colour of my hair," he replied in a hurt voice.

She laughed, standing up and grabbing the soap bottle before walking over to him. She went to hand it over to him, before turning it upside down and squeezing a generous amount of soap straight onto his head.

"Perhaps it's just all that dust from the large amount of time you spend lost on the path of life." She grinning, proceeding to rub to soap in.

"Or perhaps it does represent extreme aging due to the antics of my students." He replied, grabbing her around the waste and placing her directly under the nozzle of the showerhead.

"Not cool Kakashi!" She squealed, as the rush of cold water hit her.

"Admit that my hair's the coolest, most awesome hair you've ever seen." He said, holding her in place.

"Never," She laughed, squirming in an attempt to get free of his grasp.

"We're in a position of stalemate here until you do," He warned.

"I'll never break, you hear?" She yelled, "Never!"

"It's a shame to hear that." Kakashi deadpanned. "Because you know what the punishment for insubordination is."

Sakura froze, "What?"

"Suffocation by wet dog, Bull get over here."

Sakura put on a look of fake horror, but fortunately for her, she never got to experience suffocation by wet dog, due to an unforeseen interruption in the form of Iruka.

"Hatake, what the hell?" he screamed.

"You can't prove a thing," Kakashi grinned, before grabbing his flak jacket and pulling out another scroll. He offered his arm to Sakura once more, and she before the transportation began she looked around the shower room. She couldn't help but laugh when she saw the state they'd left it in. The showers were still running but the drains were clogged up with mud, leaving a pool of murky brown water, which was slowly leaking out of the room where Iruka stood. The next moment, she was back in the forest north of the training grounds where they had started out.

She couldn't help but let out a sign of laughter at the sight of Kakashi. His hair was plastered around his head, and flecks of mud were dotted around his face. She pulled off her loaned mask, and handed it back to him.

"I guess that means your bathhouse for dogs is now ruined. Did Bull and the others get out okay?"

"Unfortunately, it appears that way. And don't worry about the ninken, they'll be fine" He sighed, "Luckily, it was worth it."

Sakura frowned, "Why's that?"

"Because although suffocation by wet dog was avoided, this penance will be equally as satisfying."

"What penance?" She questioned.

"That of having to walk the five miles back home caked in mud, and smelling like you've spent the past hour swimming in garbage."

"You wouldn't" She gasped.

"I would," he grinned, already halfway through making the hand signs.

"Bastard" She yelled as he disappeared.

Yet despite herself, she couldn't help but smile. She had enjoyed Kakashi, and she had a whole five mile walk home to appreciate the jaw dropping wonder that was good art.

88888888

Authors note: Hey guys,

First of all rest assured that I have not given up on this story, I just have an insanely busy school schedule at the moment. Secondly, I hope you enjoy the new chapter, it's definitely my favourite so far. Thirdly, if you're interested in knowing more about the author behind this story, or just want to chase me up on my lack of updates, visit my blog (you can find the link on my about me page) It would be awesome if you could comment or choose to follow it, because at the moment I look like a bit of a loser with my limited followers!

Again, thank you to anyone who has read this story, or commented on it, or favourite-ed it, you are all awesome.

Smell ya later,

Sakura-L


End file.
